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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can still come hang out if you want

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I really don't feel like watching you play video games

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head

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• (530): View more from California

  shit pants at work. discarded underwear.

  (1-530): View more from California

  just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?

  (530): View more from California

  yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I thought spray tan was a myth

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  ?

  (206): View more from Washington

  You know, something that only happens in Jersey

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  you will always have a special place in my vag

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.

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• (560): View more from

  Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.

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