I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
