I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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