Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
