Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
