I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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