I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
