glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
