I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
