I hope mine doesn't look like that
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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