Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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