When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
