His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
