After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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