Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize