So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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