I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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