remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
