Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize