drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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