so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
