What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
is wine microwaveable?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
