isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
