Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
