Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
