If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
