Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
