Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
