Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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