i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
