we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
