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tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
