Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
