If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
