I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
