The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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