there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize