Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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