can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
