Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
