Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
NoShamevember. You game?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
