dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
