my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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