I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
