Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
