I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
