no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
