I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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