Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So apparently I’m into choking now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
