Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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