The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So vagazzling was a success
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
