Christians are straight up FREAKS
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
