Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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