i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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