I hate your face
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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