I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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