Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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