Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize